Elaine Tang
Malaysia
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The Landmark Forum in Kuala Lumpur
I live in Malaysia outside of Kuala Lumpur, and an important story for me is
about my relationship with my parents. After I did The Landmark Forum, something
became possible in my relationship with them that I couldn’t have imagined
before. Both of my parents had suffered strokes and I was looking after my
father and my mother. I spent a lot of time with them both.… I felt it was the
right place for me to be. As I cared for them, after The Landmark Forum, I found
myself sharing with them about myself and my life in a way I’d never done
before. We got to know each other at a very profound level.
Then, when it was time for my father to pass away, I said to him, “If you want
to go, don’t worry about me.” I felt ready to let him go, and I could see that
really gave him a sense of freedom and peace. Similarly, when my mother’s time
came, I told her that her work was done and she could go in peace. Two of my
younger brothers were with me at the time. I said to my mother that all of us
would be okay and she didn’t have to worry. It was an extraordinary experience
for me to have that remarkable intimacy with each member of my family. I
couldn’t have created so much intimacy without having participated in The
Landmark Forum.
This is something I’ve seen in my friends and colleagues, too. A friend told me
that he grew up with all sisters (no brothers). In Asian culture the sons are
valued more than daughters, so he was accustomed to always being right, to being
the most important one. That’s how he treated his first wife – in the failure of
their marriage, he made her completely wrong. Then in The Landmark Forum he saw
that he had treated her as less than him and he owned up to his part in the
marriage not working. Now he is in his second marriage. As a husband, he sees
who his wife is. He appreciates her as being as valuable and unique as he is,
and he knows how to communicate with and respect her. He can’t believe how great
their marriage is, and I see that this is not just a personal transformation he
worked through, but a cultural and familial one as well. …These are just two of
many miraculous stories I could share.
People in Malaysia love to go to seminars. We all seem to do this searching for
something in life. People want to be someone, get somewhere, have their lives be
fulfilling. What I’ve experienced through Landmark satisfies that. A lot of
seminars are just concepts that sound good while you’re sitting there. With
Landmark, I’ve gotten the tools to act on the possibility of living in a
fulfilling and satisfying way. It’s something lacking in my society—maybe in
many societies. Marriages are breaking up, children are rebelling in the family,
and Landmark’s education in my view, allows people to create shifts in all that.
For me it has started in the family—with the husband, wife, and children. When
you deeply see and appreciate who people are, you can reach out to family
members and even to the larger community. This education is so beneficial to my
life—I want others to be introduced to it. So I am playing a key role in working
with other graduates to have this work be available in Malaysia.
See more articles about Grads Breakthrough Stories.